by Miguel


I have a big problem :(

I blush a lot and with no reason why. I can blush when some stranger talks to me and when I see someone looking directly in my face. I blush even when someone in my family asks me something :(

It is done automatically, without any time to think about it or something like that. My cheeks are always already red, then when someone speaks to me I feel a lot of heat, and obviously I am blushing, and there's no sense for my blushing :(

I came to a point where I feel better staying home than going out. I feel ashamed that every time I'm out I will blush, and people and friends ask me what happened. Because I don't know what happens, I just blush.

I tried going to a dermatologist, and the doctor gave me antibiotics and done the laser treatment twice, but nothing changed. I think I've got some kind of "illness" inside me. Could this be? Or am I cursed?

At this point in life I gave up that sometime I would be "normal". Don't tell me that I'm "normal", because with my face blushing for nothing in front of family, friends and stranger is not normal. And it's neither a mental issue, because I blush automatically, without any chance to think. It just happens, and I've got no control.

Please can you help me :( I'm depressed :'(

Miguel :)

Sue-Anne's Relpy:

Hi Miguel,

I certainly hope I can help you : )

Are you absolutely sure that there is no emotional side to your blushing? Do you blush at home alone when there is no one around? If not, I would say that there is an emotional connection.

The first thing you say is that you blush when talking to strangers and when someone is looking directly at your face. So the first thing I would ask is, do you find yourself blushing more easily when you feel shy?

You also say that it happens when a family member asks you a question, so in that circumstance I would think you are not feeling shy, unless they are asking a very personal question.

If it does mostly stem from shyness or feelings of insecurity you must realize that we ALL suffer from feeling insecure and "not good enough." Especially those people who seem to cover it up by acting so self confidant! So know that you are not alone, the only thing is your feelings are showing up by your blushing.

I suffered from feeling painfully shy from the age of 12 (when my parents split up) and through most of my young adult life! It was horrible. I could not say or do the things I wanted, I felt trapped and miserable.

What helped was finally figuring out through a counselor exactly when the feelings started. When my dad left I shut down. I decided at that time, that if I didn't let anyone get close to me, then I couldn't get hurt any more, and I became very shy.

Do you know when your blushing started? Did you go through some trauma or challenge when you were young? Once you realize the cause, you can start to let go and start to gain self confidence and little by little it will get better.

Two years ago I won "Member of the year" in my cycling club, chosen out of 450 members. That was one of the best things ever, wow! Look how far I had come from that shy little girl. You can too!

I know it must be really hard, but know that we are always our own worst critics. So while other people probably notice your blushing I'm sure none of them have a hard time with it, only you do. Because you are being very hard on yourself.

It is so hard to accept ourselves, to focus on all of our wonderful qualities. Instead, we constantly beat ourselves up. Please put down the hammer and stop beating yourself over the head with it : )

Focus on all of your wonderful qualities, I am sure you have many! And do not even think of staying home. In order to gain more self confidence you need to keep on putting yourself out there. I know it is really hard! It was hard for me, but I traveled and did things to get over my shyness.

Bach Flower Remedies help a lot with emotional issues. Go to the natural health food store and get a bottle or two or more of some Bach Flower essences.

You can try one or two of more of these:
Cherry Plum - for fear of losing control
Mimilus - for a known fear
Aspen - for an unknown fear
Larch- for lack of self confidence
Star of Bethlehem - to overcome past trauma
Tromos - for anxiety

Ask someone in the store about how to use them. Usually you put 2 drops of each essence in a small 40 ml bottle with a dropper, and fill it with pure water. You can put up to 6 different essences in one bottle.

You take 4 drops of this 4 times per day. One bottle lasts about 2 weeks. Then you can start a new bottle after that. The effects can be very subtle but you will notice a big change over time.

If you tend to be very anxious take a good quality complex B vitamin and B5 vitamin, you can take a few Vitamin B5 at a time.

Please let me know how it goes,


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